Summary and spoilers
When Bret sees how small he looks in the new band photos, he develops some body image issues – which unfortunately sparks a rumor that he is bulimic. Depressed by his body, his confidence is at a new low.
Jemaine tries to alleviate Bret’s confidence issues by writing a song for him, and by asking Mel to direct her compliments away from him and toward Bret. Unfortunately, when Jemaine hears Mel obsess about Bret, he is thrown into a confidence crisis of his own.
Throughout the episode, Bret is visited in his dreams by David Bowie (played by Jemaine). Bowie gives Bret a couple of suggestions to try to help, but these backfire. Advice to ‘wear an eye patch’ causes depth perception issues. Bret’s interprets ‘do something outrageous’ as a chance to reveal his newly tattooed genitals in front of a prospective new client – a greeting card company that wants to use a Conchords jingle in one of their new cards. Murray’s confidence is shot by his inability to turn the disastrous meeting into something positive, perhaps by acting as if Bret’s flash was a standard New Zealand greeting.
In Bret’s final dream, even Bowie has now lost his confidence in giving advice.
But there is an upside; the greeting card executive decided to publish the Conchord’s card, and they will receive one cent per card. Unfortunately, because the card has an unpopular design, only 50 cards will be published.
Comments
The theme of ‘loss of confidence’ is worked well into the plot, making this an above average Conchords episode. Jemaine’s first song, ‘Bret, You Got It Going On’, meant to cheer Bret up, is Pythonesque in the way it of course is really building up Jemaine’s own ego. The boys also have loads of fun imitating Bowie in the second song, ‘Bowie’.
Flight of the Conchords Quotes
Jemaine: Well, we’re always at the band meetings; we’re the band.
Murray: Yeah, but there’s been a couple of times where you haven’t been here, alright, and I’ve put you down as ‘absent’, and I’ve just carried on with the meeting.
Jemaine: What, a band meeting, we haven’t been here?
Murray: Yeah, twice.
Jemaine: When?
Murray: Well, it doesn’t matter when; it didn’t go very well.
"Bret, you look quite small; it looks sort of like trick photography. It’s like Lord of the Rings. Jemaine, you look like an ogre that works in the library. Yeah, I think it’s your fault, Bret; you’re just too small."
- Murray
Jemaine: Are you bulimic or something?
Bret: No. I just feel like…you know, all these novelty musicians are a lot bigger than me.
Jemaine: You know how you tend to prefer me out of me and Bret.
Mel: No.
Jemaine: Yeah, when you see us you, you just flirt a little bit more with me…tiny - Sorry Doug.
Doug: That’s alright.
Jemaine: Happy anniversary, by the way.
Doug: Thanks.
Jemaine: I’d compliment him myself, but I think it might be gay.
Mel: Oh, no – oh, that’s not gay at all.
Jemaine: Isn’t it?
Mel: Oh, no! To tell a friend he looks good? No that’s not gay.
Jemaine: Well, maybe I will.
Mel: I mean, if you two were to make love – that would be gay.
Jemaine: Yeah, that would be – that would be gay.
Mel: [dreamily] Two men – touching each other – physically, and emotionally…erotically caressing each other -
Jemaine: That sounds more -
Mel: - on the hood of a car -
Jemaine: Hey, thanks for your help, anyway.
Mel: - in the back of a movie theater –
"Sure you’re weedy, and kinda shy
But some girly out there must be needy for a weedy shy guy
Why can’t a heterosexual guy tell a heterosexual guy
That he thinks his booty’s fly
No doubt about it, we’d be goin’ crazy
If one of us was lucky enough to be born a lady"
- Jemaine [from ‘Bret, You Got It Going On’]
Mel: You have a refined bone structure, whereas Jemaine’s facial feature are too deep-set to be classically handsome.
Bret: Thank you.
Jemaine: Aw.
Murray: David, when will this meeting actually begin?
David: Well, it’s begun.
Murray: They didn’t do a roll call.
Jemaine: Does the space cold make you nipples go pointy, Bowie?
Bret: Did you use your pointy nipples as telescopic antenna to transmit data back to earth?
- from ‘Bowie’
